Turning Doubt Into Fuel
If we begin with certainties, we shall end in doubts; but if we begin with doubts, and are patient in them, we shall end in certainties.~Francis BaconChecked Out
It was three weeks before college graduation.
I found myself in a mandatory career guidance session, supposedly designed to “help us land a job in our field.” I sat in a room with about twenty other students, and for the next hour, a career counselor droned on about the importance of finding jobs related to our majors. For most of us, that meant working in finance or pushing papers in some corporate office.
It was the same message we’d been hearing since day one—become a cog in the machine. For some, that’s enough. It’s a modest living, steady pay, and the promise of stability. It’s safe... or at least it feels that way.
But as I sat there, listening to advice about attending career fairs and properly formatting resumes, my mind wandered. I looked down at my notebook and started drawing. Checked out. Between the empty words and hollow reassurances, I realized something: none of this was meant for me.
The truth is, I had been feeling this way for a long time. I knew that my path wasn’t going to be the one laid out by a career counselor or determined by my college major. Business administration, finance—sure, they provided a solid foundation, but that foundation felt like it was being built in a house I didn’t want to live in.
Most of the students around me had internships at family businesses or no real-world experience at all. I wasn’t much different—I had interviews lined up at some wealth management firms, mainly to keep my mom happy. It wasn’t that finance was wrong. It was that I felt wrong there, uncomfortable with the idea of making money off other people’s retirement savings.
I was just doing what I thought I was supposed to do. What my family wanted for me. What everyone else around me was doing.
But deep down, I had a different vision.
Living Someone Else’s Life
I wanted to make my own money—not by climbing someone else’s ladder, but by living my craft. By doing the work that kept me up at night, that pulled me through long hours with excitement and energy. At the time, I knew that my future was in creating videos. I had already had a taste of success—viral videos, ghost editing, design work for startups. But I hadn’t yet figured out how to make it sustainable. How to make it mine.
In those quiet moments during the career session, I remember drawing a small figure on the corner of my page. It was aimless, wandering—almost lost. That’s how I felt. The career counselor’s voice faded into the background. I was already somewhere else, in a place where I could pursue my passion, but had no idea where to start. And that scared me more than anything.
After graduation, I took a job at a BMW restoration shop. I convinced myself I was learning a trade—something practical. At least I wasn’t in finance. Meanwhile, I took side jobs doing design work for startups, building websites, and making music videos. But nine hours of my day were spent working in a place that ultimately had nothing to do with the career I wanted. The whole time, I felt like I was wearing someone else’s life. Every day was like staring at that wandering figure I had drawn—unsure of where I was going or why.
Tough Conversations
There are moments in life when you have to face the truth—when you’re forced to sit with yourself and ask tough questions. And the answers? They don’t always feel good.
One of the hardest truths I had to accept was that I just wasn’t good enough. Not yet.
Now, don’t get me wrong—it wasn’t entirely a matter of skill. I had the technical chops—enough skill to get paid for my work. I had been creating for years, pouring myself into projects, learning everything I could. I was confident in my abilities, certainly good enough to make a career in creative work. And when I looked around, I didn’t see many people working as hard as I was.
I hit a point where I’d see other creatives who I felt weren’t as good as I was, but they were getting more projects, putting themselves out there, making a name for themselves. I wondered what I was doing wrong.
There was clearly a disconnect. Something wasn’t clicking.
After a year or so, I realized it wasn’t about skill—it was about mindset. I lacked conviction—the unwavering belief that I could turn my passion into a life. I lacked the clarity of vision to guide me forward. I hadn’t yet found the mentors or role models who had walked this path before me.
More than anything, I lacked belief in myself.
Building The Door
I didn’t truly believe I could make it happen. Deep down, I held onto the assumption that things would just fall into place “one day.” I kept a backup plan close, listening to the voices of practicality around me: “Get a real job,” “Be responsible.” They echoed in my head, even when I tried to drown them out.
But here’s the thing about doubt—it only grows in the dark. The longer you ignore it, the more it looms over you, casting shadows over your progress, your creativity, your belief.
It took time—and a lot of uncomfortable self-reflection—to realize that I was holding myself back. It wasn’t about skill or talent or even opportunity. It was about belief. I was waiting for success to come knocking instead of building the door.
There comes a time when you have to humble yourself. When you have to face the fact that maybe you aren’t where you want to be—not yet.
I had to accept that I wasn’t enough.
And then I made a decision.
I chose to keep going anyway.
Failure isn’t something that happens to you. It’s something you allow. If you don’t quit, you can’t fail. It’s that simple.
I decided that if I couldn’t fully believe in myself yet, I would keep working until I could. I would push through the doubts and the voices of practicality. I would keep creating, keep learning, and keep putting myself out there—even when it felt uncomfortable.
So, I put my head down and went back to work. I didn’t know if it would work out. But I knew one thing: I wasn’t going to stop.
A Perspective Shift
And slowly, things started to change.
The more I worked, the more opportunities came my way. The more I honed my craft, the more confident I became in my abilities. The wandering figure on the corner of my page started to find its path.
I’m writing this at 10 PM on a Tuesday. From my home studio. Doing the work I once doubted I could ever do. I’m making videos. I’m telling stories. I’m creating a life on my terms.
I’m not done yet—not by a long shot. But I’m further along than I ever thought possible.
And if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this:
belief is everything.
It’s not just about believing in yourself when things are going well. It’s about believing in yourself when nothing makes sense. When everyone around you is telling you to be practical. When your doubts are louder than your confidence.
You have to hold onto that belief like your life depends on it—because in a way, it does. Your creative life. Your authentic life. The life you’re building day by day, decision by decision.
A Question For You
So, here’s my question for you:
What would change if you stopped listening to the voices of doubt and started building the life you’ve always wanted—one step at a time?
How would you act, if you weren’t afraid? Afraid of what others would say, afraid of failing publicly, afraid of going to a family reunion and hearing about all of your cousins doing better than you.
How would you act if you weren’t so afraid of not living up to your potential?
Here’s what I’ve learned: being fearless doesn’t mean you’re never afraid.
It means you feel the fear, you acknowledge it, and you keep going anyway.
That’s where the real success begins.
Thanks for reading! See you next week.
-P